Nine (9) Things You Need To Know About Relationship Compatibility

Finding a compatible partner is not always easy, but then, what if we’ve got it all mixed up and compatibility isn’t really what we pictured it to be? It is very important in your quest to find the right partner to have an understanding of what compatibility encompasses. As this will help you in making the right choice of a partner. And if you are already in a relationship, it will help you ascertain the level of compatibility between you and your partner as well as areas you need to work on.

In this article, Nine Things You Need to Know about Relationship Compatibility, you will learn nine key insights about compatibility which you can apply in your current and future relationships;

#1 - There is no single person you will be compatible with in every way!

One recurring assumption most people tend to make is believing that there’s only one person or ‘soul mate’ out there for them, and they believe that such a person will complement them in every way. Now, this could be disastrous because they may use this idea to reject some potential partners who do not fit the image of the person they think they should be with.

Truth is people are typically not happy when they are in a relationship with someone they are not compatible with. Quite unfortunately, the fact remains that there is no single person you will be compatible with in every way; and the reason is simple – no two individuals are exactly the same! This is why when you eventually find your ideal choice, that person will not share all your interests, neither will they meet all of your needs. It is therefore, very important for you to keep this in mind especially when choosing a partner. As a matter of fact, your quest for a compatible relationship should never be a search for your ‘missing piece,’ because doing so might limit you in different ways. Instead, seek people who challenge you and help you evolve.

Taking a chance with someone who, at first, makes you uncomfortable, because they show more interest in and care for you than you are familiar or comfortable with might just be a much smarter move to take.

#2 - Being with someone you're compatible with can make your life easier but issues are bound to arise regardless!

Relationship compatibility exists when a couple relates with equality and respect. And when this happens it sure can make life easier for both partners. However, it is wrong to assume that compatibility rules out the possibility of issues arising in your relationship. Just as no two individuals are exactly the same, no single individual is perfect. So chances are that there’ll be some friction between you and your partner once in a while, even with a high level of compatibility.

I strongly advocate that couples should have fun every now and then, and really enjoy their time spent together. But you see, getting along and engaging in fun activities may not be enough to hold a relationship together. My point is you can be with someone you are compatible with and still encounter disagreements every now and then. However, arguing in a relationship does not mean that you and your significant other are not compatible. When x-rayed, the strength of every relationship can be measured by how these issues or disagreements are resolved. Doing so respectfully and lovingly where you both are on the same team strengthens your bond and increases your compatibility.

#3 - You might be drawn to someone for unconscious reasons based on adaptations from your childhood.

Most of us tend to choose partners who treat us similar to how we are/were treated in our family, so that our adaptations synchronize. More often than not, we are unconsciously looking for people who are likely not ideal for us. Let me give a quick example here; if you are loud, and you pick a partner who is quiet, you may fail to ever challenge yourself to actually learn the habit of listening. You are likely going to overlook your partner’s yielding nature and continue to dominate the relationship, thus, not really allowing your partner to voice his/her opinion and invariably always getting the final say. When you choose your partner based on such unhealthy traits that sync, the reasons you are drawn to such a person will very likely become the reason you are repelled by that person. Someone you initially saw as calm, quiet and cool could start to seem ‘dull and uninteresting’ to you.

It is also very critical to explore and think about your previous dating patterns that didn’t yield a long term relationship. What were the inner dynamics that resulted in the failure of such interpersonal relationships? Are you a bit too critical? Are you overly domineering in your relationships? Or do you have a tendency to defer to your partner? You see, by identifying your own defenses and inner dynamics, you can separate the real you from the unhealthy adaptations which you’ve formed from hurtful past experiences.

Ironically, relationship compatibility is often achieved by thinking outside your comfort zone. While it is very important to choose someone you really like being around, don’t place unnecessary restrictions on your choices by excessive limitations. When seeking to find relationship compatibility seek out someone who is open to try new things, hear feedback and also evolve themselves if the need arises.

#4 - In a compatible and healthy relationship, both partners will strive to meet each other's relational needs.

Remember when we stated that relationship compatibility exists when couples relate with equality and respect? Well this should not be undermined. Compatibility means that both partners appreciate and accept each other's life philosophy and goals, without feeling preoccupied by what they feel needs to change about their partner. Both partners can be very different personality wise, but will tend to agree on several core factors that dictate how they both want to build their lives together.

In a compatible and healthy relationship, each partner will accept and appreciate the other's natural personalities and will give the other the space to grow individually while they still work together to evolve as a couple. Both partners will strive to meet each other's relational needs and sometimes this could call for some form of compromise! And as long as you are both fully committed to making the relationship work, chances are that you can resolve or compromise on the issues that will arise. But when there are fundamentally varying ideas or opinions and you are both unwilling to compromise, then you are most likely not the best match. And in such cases, your best bet is to be true to what you want and need out of a relationship, and be honest about it. This way you will be better able to decide if you are fit for each other or not.

#5 - Feeling compatible sexually is one factor that can be worked on if you've found a partner who you are compatible with otherwise.

If you are physically compatible with someone it could be said that you both have ‘chemistry’. Physical compatibility termed otherwise as physical attraction, is a necessary component of relationship compatibility. This is so because you need to be attracted to and not be repulsed by your partner. And although feeling compatible sexually is one factor that should not be overlooked, people should also put into consideration the fact that physical compatibility can be worked on if you've found a partner you are compatible with otherwise.

Physical compatibility can be attained by being honest with your needs and encouraging your partner to share their desires also. In fact, couples should strive to regularly show each other affection as this will strengthen their physical connection.

#6 - If you are in a happy relationship, you should be excited to show your partner off around your friends and family.

If the people you are close to are yet to meet your partner, quickly ask yourself this question; ‘Who is to blame for this; is it you, your partner, or the people you are close to?’ or is it to be blamed on the prevailing circumstances? And if so, what is responsible for that prevailing circumstance(s)? And can such circumstance(s) be dealt with?

You may be wondering why all of this is important, well, here’s why; if you’re in a happy relationship, you should be excited to show your partner off to your friends and family – simple! This shows that they are actively involved in your life, which is a good sign for a great relationship. If you are in a compatible relationship it shouldn’t be a problem for your friends and family to get to meet and know your partner.

#7 - Emotional compatibility will require you to be vulnerable!

Emotional compatibility emphasizes complete trust and often times vulnerability. Trusting your partner completely means that you can lay your heart on the line and trust that your partner will be there for you, knowing at the same time that they feel just as comfortable doing the same with you.

When you are in a relationship with someone you’re emotionally compatible with, you are taking a risk by making yourself vulnerable and this is perfectly normal. Your relationship should make you feel both good and not-so-great emotions as this signifies that you are moving past your comfort-zone. Risk taking involves a whole lot of uncertainties and so will your relationship if you are entirely honest with your partner. Being completely open and thus, vulnerable will reveal how compatible you both are. If while being honest you are constantly taken for granted by your partner then chances are that you are not emotionally compatible. It is also important to note that while frictions and misunderstandings are bound to occur, too many ups and downs could be a sign that your relationship is unhealthy.

#8 - Compatibility offers a safe feeling but this could become problematic if you overdo it!

When you are in a compatible relationship you are most likely going to feel safe and assured with your partner. You will be content with how things are and everything will seem to work out fine. Ideally, this shouldn’t be a problem because feeling safe in your relationship is important! However, when you become overly dependent on your partner for safety, then it becomes problematic. If the only reason you are with your partner is because you simply cannot afford to be single again, you just may be abusing relationship compatibility. It means that you are in the relationship for the wrong reasons and this is a very unhealthy foundation to build a relationship on!

Basically being in a compatible relationship means that you work well together, enjoy each other’s company and have a good time, nevertheless, this should not deprive or stop you from pursuing your own personal ambitions, interests, and hobbies alike. When you or your partner begins to encroach into each other’s personal space too frequently then your relationship may be tending towards the unhealthy side – watch it! Each one of you should allow for autonomous growth. Do not attempt to put yourself or your partner in a box. Instead, consistently demonstrate love, respect and support for each other as AUTONOMOUS individuals.

#9 - Whatever your belief system, it’s important to believe in yourself and your power to change.

It is not a secret that most of us tend to hold on firmly to ‘who we are,’ which is more often than not, the latest version of ourselves. And sometimes, our belief systems threaten the growth and success of our relationships with our partners.

So to conclude, I strongly recommend that you ardently believe in your power to change whatever ‘natural temperament’ you have (genetic or otherwise) that is keeping you from getting close or bonding with your partner. You have it inside of you – the power to shape who you are and also change those qualities you don’t like. So harness that ability and do what needs to be done!

If you are thinking of ways you can make your relationship with your partner work, then I strongly recommend that you purchase this ebook on Amazon here.