FIVE (5) KEYS TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

Isn’t it amazing how time flies? Let me first start by saying, happy new month to all my readers and followers. Yes! Welcome to the second month of the year, 2019.
If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’d remember how last year I tagged it a month for love! And for this year, I decided, well let’s make it a tradition, so, with that said, it’s another ‘February for Love’ guys! This means that articles for this month will be focused on relationships, so endeavor to subscribe if you haven’t, and expect to hear from me on Saturdays, every week with a new article release!
So, I take it that you are interested in building a lasting relationship with your special one, that’s probably one of the reasons you clicked to read this article, right? Well, you made the right choice! I mean isn’t it just a lovely sight to behold when we see married couples still in love and very happy together even in their 70s and 80s, or in other words, even in old age? That’s practically what many young couples aspire to achieve. Even the marriage vows clearly state that it’s……“for better, for worse…..until death do us part.” So, it is very possible to have and sustain a lasting relationship with your partner, but sadly there a number of persons who do not have a clue on how to achieve this!
For this reason and others, I decided to share some tips which I consider to be helpful in this regard. Remember, this is one very important topic because it can help you minimize the whole concept of divorce after marriage, especially if you are about to say ‘I do’. So here it is guys, read on!
My “Five (5) Keys to a Lasting Relationship” are represented with these five letters; C.C.C.T.V
Should you be wondering what they stand for? Hold on a minute, cause you’re about to find out!

#1- Compatibility; if you’re thinking of settling down with someone you are currently dating and by that I mean, marrying someone you are currently dating, then you must definitely look out for this quality! Be sure to ask the question- “…how compatible are you both?” Research has shown that most couples who stay longer together are compatible or at least they have developed compatibility over time. Compatibility here means how well you work together, or how much in sync you are with each other. It reflects your shared common interests as well as disinterests. It entails this- can you both work comfortably as a team? Because whether you like it or not, that’s what marriage is all about- working together as a unit or team! And in a case where you both aren’t compatible, there’ll be a long, long list of problems every now and then!
So, instead of using dating as a sorry excuse to get physical with yourselves, as is the case with so many today, try getting to know the other aspects of yourselves and also explore the other aspects of your relationship instead, it usually pays off in the end. You need to start now to make those observations, especially if you’re lucky enough to still be unmarried at the time of reading this. I can assure you, you do not want to have regrets later on! So make your quiet observations and see how compatible you are with each other and if you are not, perhaps you should see that as a red flag, so slow things down a bit in order to be more certain. And when you are absolutely sure, like Kierra Sheard once sang, that it’s a go, then you can go ahead with those wedding vows!

#2- Conflict-resolution; this is another very important number fellas! How do you guys handle conflicts? Is it a crazy boxing match with one or both partners severely injured and one pinned on the ground…..? Or is it perhaps, like a presidential debate between two opponents? Or is it a win-win situation, where you either win or lose together? Whatever, the case may be, the way conflicts are being handled in a relationship, can actually go a long way in determining how long such a relationship would last. Couples who handle conflicts better are more likely to stay longer together than those who do not. Peaceful conflict resolution is the way to go guys, especially if you want to ensure a healthy, peaceful and lasting relationship. So, if all you do is argue and argue with no ensuing peaceful resolution, then again I say, watch it! It’s another red flag alert! Especially for y’all who are still single.

#3- Commitment; hey! I am not just talking about commitment to the relationship alone, I am talking about commitment to the various aspects of life-affairs or engagements your partner indulges in! And why am I not solely referring to your partner’s commitment to you and to your relationship, you may ask? Besides isn’t that all that really matters? You think. Well, my dear, haven’t you heard the phrase, “…..fake it till you make it??” true! Some people will go a great length just to end up with a status upgrade (Mr. & Mrs.) so you must be very careful in this regard. And this is why I’d say be observant, this goes out especially to those of you who are still in the ‘dating’ or ‘getting-to-know-each-other’ phase, watch to see how committed your partner really is, not just to the relationship even though that counts, but to you, to his/her family, to his/her job, to his/her responsibilities and all…… Is he/she a quitter? Perhaps such a one would so easily chicken out of a relationship with you should things go a lil’ bit haywire. However, when your partner is showing real good signs of genuine commitment then that is a really good sign/key to a lasting relationship.

#4- Trust; someone once said that where there is no trust there is no relationship! And I think, of course, yes! I mean, how can one enjoy/manage a relationship where there is no trust? It could really become over-bearing and burdensome to say the least! It is also not healthy for relationships. Imagine being with, in fact let me call it- having to cope with (cause that’s what it usually becomes) someone you do not trust. That’s a sure banker for a shot-term relationship. To cut the long story short, when trust is lacking in a relationship, it weakens the relationship and usually leads on to a termination, except by some miraculous intervention, which usually involves ‘trust’ being restored in the relationship. So my friends before taking the next bold step in your relationship with your significant other, be sure to establish trust first.

#5- Value; yes! It’s the last one on my list, V.A.L.U.E, I cannot in anyway afford to deemphasize on this one, mostly because it is very very essential. Now I want you to do this for me- think of all the valueless items in your house, well, if not all of them, at least think about most of them and then tell me, really, how do you treat them? I’m guessing you’d so easily trash them whenever such an opportunity presents itself, right? Like say you have to move house, fact is, you’re more likely inclined to do away with (or trash) those items you value the least! Now, come back to the present fellas, this same thing applies even in relationships! Simple! If you are with someone who doesn’t value you as a person, you’ll be treated like trash sooner or later. It’s just a principle that we’ve seen come to play over and over!
How do I know if I am valued you may want to ask? Well the little things usually reveal much, that’s why I’d say pay close attention to details or at least to reoccurring patterns; how often does your partner communicate with you? Does he/she try as much as possible to keep in touch? Oh! And what happens when your partner wrongs you, how does he/she handle it, are apologies made/given? How are you treated in public and even in private as well? Are you a priority….or are you just a second thought? Do your opinions matter, like do they count? .......You see all these and many more inquiries such as these, will go a long way in revealing whether or not you are valued in that relationship! And should you feel or know that you are not valued, then PU---LeaSe……walk away! Hard it will be, yes, but it will feel a lot better than being trashed in the future, someday, by the one you call the love of your life!

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See you again Saturday next week and be sure to leave your comments in the comment box below. It’s a ‘February for Love’ so be sure to boost up your love life this season! Much love from me and again, thanks for reading!
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