Let's talk about motherhood for a bit;
But first - Let me start by saying a big congratulations to all the moms, especially the first-time-moms (like me) and the dads too! I hope you gain a thing or two from reading this article.
DISCOVERING YOU ARE PREGNANT
Finding out that you are pregnant comes with a lot of emotions - while some women feel excitement, some don’t. This is mostly dependent on the circumstances surrounding the conception. One thing I must tell you is this; don't dive in if you aren't ready!
The discovery of a pregnancy could come with excitement, a sense of accomplishment, anticipation, anxiety and in some cases fear (especially of the unknown). For me, I had all shades of emotions but the highlight was having a reassuring partner. Having a supportive partner becomes necessary the moment the prospect of having a baby comes into the picture. I mean, it goes without saying that it takes two individuals to conceive. When a man and woman both agree to nurture a baby from conception to birth and beyond, parenting becomes a tad bit less intimidating.
In essence, before embarking on the journey to conception be CERTAIN and be PREPARED. The reason is because a whole lot of changes are bound to occur, the first of which is the transformation that occurs within the woman's body...
THE THREE (3) TRIMESTERS
Nausea, back aches, appetite loss, weight gain, swollen feet and nose, cravings, headaches, waist pain, cramps, mood swings etc. These are just a few pregnancy symptoms. No jokes, it could get very unpleasant at certain times. And at other times you would be your happiest self. Thankfully, it all ends after nine months! Here are a few tips on how to successfully manage your pregnancy to term;
Prenatal Visits
The moment you find out you are pregnant, please book a doctor's appointment and sign up for prenatal classes. You can expect to have regular hospital appointments even on the days you don't feel like it. This is important because your body is nurturing a whole human inside of you. Skipping prenatal appointments could potentially put your baby's life and yours at risk.
Support Groups
Believe me when I say this - being pregnant is not an easy task. Yeah, truth be told there are some women who carry on effortlessly with it, however, others would tell you it takes a great deal of strength and courage.
Although, we are naturally equipped for the task, during pregnancy a woman’s body is pretty much controlled by certain hormones which could also touch on her emotions. Many women have reported to be most sensitive while pregnant, and it is advised that they get adequate support during this time. Hence, support groups are essential for the pregnant woman.
When I was pregnant, I had my own share of lazy days as well as the days I just couldn’t take down food I cooked myself. At some point my meals had to be prepared by someone else for me to be able to eat. Luckily for me, I had a husband and family who catered to my needs whenever I needed help. So, it is important to have all these people within reach.
Here’s a hack especially for pregnant mums; in addition to the support you get from your family, you can also find social groups (online or offline) that are dedicated to mothers like yourself and join in the conversations. That helped me too!
Finance
If you and your partner are planning on having a baby, then you better start saving up money for it. It’s going to be bills, bills and more bills, before and after child birth. You need to ensure that you have a stable source of income before joining the bandwagon of parents.
Rest
If you are pregnant while reading this, there’s really no need to be a ‘Wonder Woman’. Get enough rest. Doing too much could potentially lead to a premature labor. With that said, go easy on yourself, eat healthily and drink a lot of water too!
Save
While shopping in preparation for your baby's arrival ensure that you have enough money reserved for emergencies. Don't spend all you have because there would be other unforeseen expenses.
Have Fun
As daunting as it may seem, make sure you make out time to catch some fun! Hang out, take pictures, order some takeout, go see a movie, go on group dates with your friends or family. You can even organize a baby shower (with help, of course). Drain out any negativity you might feel!
Now that we've touched on the prenatal period let's move on to the juicy part....
THE FOURTH (4th) TRIMESTER
In case you are wondering whether there is such a thing as a fourth trimester in pregnancy, hold off on that thought. The fourth trimester refers to the first couple of weeks after a baby is born.
Many mothers think that after the birth of their child they get to rest especially after facing a myriad of pregnancy sensations. I fell victim to this predicament, as a first time mom I failed to realize that giving birth to a baby only meant more work to be done. Many would think that the baby's arrival equals a whole lot of sweet feelings and positive vibes only. Well, of course it does, the moment your baby is born you would have a great sense of relief, accomplishment and happiness. But in actuality it isn't entirely a rosy affair, and trust me it doesn't take long for this reality to settle in. In fact, here are five things I didn't see coming which you are likely going to experience after your baby's arrival;
Sleep Deprivation
If you are pregnant reading this, my advice to you is sleep all you can cause the moment your baby is born your sleeping schedule changes completely. And if your baby is like most babies, you're going to be awake most part of the night and even during the day!
New born babies do not have the senses to distinguish between night and day just yet, they sleep whenever they feel like it. And as a mommy, you have no option but to tend to your baby when he or she is awake. Nevertheless, sleep as much as you can because not getting enough sleep is detrimental to your health. If it means getting some extra help with baby care, by all means do so and get some sleep!
People Would Talk
If there’s one thing I didn’t see coming, it’s the array of visits from numerous people, coupled with the fact that virtually everyone you come in contact with would pretty much have a thing or two to say about how you should care for your baby. While, it may be with good intentions, this could be quite overwhelming for a new mom. Here’s what it may look like: some folks would tell you to completely wrap or cover your baby at all times, while some would say that doing so all the time is unhealthy for baby; some would tell you that there’s no need for EBF (exclusive breastfeeding), others would say it’s a must; some would say that giving baby water with breast milk is okay from the very first week, others would say ‘give only breast milk’...it goes on and on!
My advice to the new and intending moms reading this is follow your gut and stick to your doctor’s advice! Stand your ground on what you want for your baby because in the end, you (not them) would be held responsible for your baby! So, respectfully and politely say ‘no’ when you have to. Don’t always say ‘yes’ to everyone and everything! The saying ‘everything goes...’ is definitely not applicable to babies.
Leaky Boobs
As embarrassing as this may sound, I think to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the memo during my prenatal classes! Dear intending mummies, while going shopping for baby, be sure to include some packs of disposable nursing (breast) pads too. The reason is because you are bound to experience leaking breasts after delivery. Some women experience it earlier while it may take a few days or weeks for others. Here’s what it looks like- you wake up in the morning to do your regular chores and ‘boom’ you look down and your whole t-shirt is soaked with breast milk. I must add that this could also happen while you are out of the house, like at the grocery store or your work place! Disposable nursing pads are your safest bet when it comes down to staying clean and dry, trust me! They are easily worn by sticking them underneath your bras, and because they are super-absorbent, your leaky boobs stay dry for a longer period.
Oh! And one more thing - invest in some quality nursing bras because you would need them day and night!
Baby Blues
Not every mom experiences ‘love at first sight’ at the birth of her baby. And although meeting your little one is the moment you look forward to all through your pregnancy, don't be surprised if you do not feel the tingling love sensation at the first sight of your baby (YOU WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST). While some mommies adore their babies at the very first glimpse, it may take a while for some others to bond or fall in love with their babies.
Do not feel guilty if you do not feel excited after childbirth, some reports have shown that 1 out of 7 mothers could develop postpartum depression after delivery, while many more women go through a period called baby blues. Baby blues are feelings of sadness that you may experience after childbirth, it doesn’t require any medical treatment and usually wears off on it’s own. Many new parents experience baby blues 2 to 3 days after their baby is born, however, this feeling usually fades after a period of two weeks. You should contact your healthcare provider if this feeling lasts longer than 2 weeks as you could be suffering from postpartum depression.
Decreased Libido
I bet many first-time moms didn’t see this coming too. No jokes, after your baby is born there’s a 95% chance that you would no longer be interested in having SEX with your partner. This happens to a lot of women so don’t beat yourself up about it. And if you are a new dad reading this and your partner doesn’t seem interested in sex as much as she used to before childbirth, please by all means go easy on her, and on yourself too! There are two major explanations behind this occurrence - a scientific one and a more logical one. Let’s begin with the more scientific reason;
Scientifically, low libido in women is a physiological reality in the fourth trimester. It just so happens that a couple of hormones come into play after childbirth- first there’s decreased estrogen levels which could lead to vaginal dryness, thereby causing painful sex (a major turn-off). Then, there’s prolactin, the hormone that stimulates breast milk production in nursing mothers, but also has the potential to reduce sexual desire.
Logically, many women do not feel sexy after childbirth. As a matter of fact, many new mommies become self-conscious of their postpartum bodies. And as a ripple effect it dampens their sexual desire and in some cases, their sensual dexterity too. In reality, many new moms (especially first time moms) have to adjust to the responsibilities that come with parenting.
Constantly nursing your little one, changing soiled diapers, laundering dirty clothes, soothing a crying baby, sleep deprivation, fatigue etc - these are all physically and sometimes emotionally draining, and could invariably tune you off the mood for sex (but more in the mood for some ....zZZs).
Some reports show that low sex drive in mothers could last for as long as 18 months after childbirth. This is not to say that there aren’t some who swing right back into action much earlier. Nonetheless, if you are a new mom reading this, give yourself all the time you need to get your sex drive back on. You can also take certain steps that could help you get back on track earlier than you anticipated.
Alright folks, at this juncture I would be drawing the curtains...
In summary, your life would be completely transformed by the birth of a child, nevertheless, you have what it takes to make it a beautiful experience.
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See you in my next post....
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4 Comments
An interesting read, very informative and educative. Should be recommended to intending couples and first time single mums.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading. Yes, I highly recommend this to intending couples and first time mums!! You can help me share to the aforementioned persons via social media.
DeleteA great piece . Very informative
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading!
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