Ten (10) Rules Of Parenting

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Hello to you reading this, today marks the nationwide Children's Day celebration in Nigeria and because this blog features relationship, I decided that today would be best for a topic like this one, which highlights the parent-child relationship. As the topic indicates my focus here is on adults and not just parents but also, men and women, married or not, who intend to have kids someday! So here goes something worth reading;

Children are a blessing from God and this is, not withstanding the circumstances surrounding a child's birth. God is the creator or the brain behind procreation and so He cannot be exempted. As some of us already know, God's actions and doings are always purposeful, this is why it is believed that everyone who is born was born for a reason and a purpose! Anyway, let me not dwell much on that, our focus here is on ‘parenting,' and this is exactly what we shall look at in detail.

So one fact is that there cannot be parenting without children. I mean, parents are called parents because they have children right? So with this said I believe it is safe to say that parenting deals with the act of raising children from when they are young till when they become adults and in many cases it is a lifelong responsibility.
So are there rules?? Well, you may call these rules, or principles or even guidelines, the most important thing is for you to know there is a right and also a wrong approach to parenting. And our focus today is more or less on the right approach to parenting. So here are just ten rules which I put together to guide you reading this, but please this list is not exhaustive as there are so many other guidelines;

#1 Rule- Parents Must Live An Exemplary Life
Have you not noticed that children tend to emulate what they see and observe around them? Yes, they do. The common mistake most parents make is that they give their children various admonitions which they themselves fail to keep. You cannot be teaching your child about the importance of honesty and trustworthiness while you are doing poorly yourself in these areas! Ever heard the phrase, ‘.....children are the carbon copy of their parents...??' This has some truth in it, children express attitudes which they see their own parents expressing, so when a father is an alcoholic or beats his wife, chances are that the sons of such a man would do much worse except by some ‘divine' intervention. Or are you a mum who warns her children against telling lies, but do so every now and then? Then, chances are that your children are going to continue with the lying habit until this bad habit is first eliminated in you.

The rule here is that parents must live as though their every act will become a universal law for their children. And I mean every single action! So when a spouse cheats on the other, such a one is invariably encouraging his/her kids to do same! Now let's move on...

#2 Rule- Discipline is Paramount
Have you ever bought a puppy? If yes, tell me, do you ever buy a puppy and then leave it to train itself? No! Also I believe dog owners would agree with me that certain consistent disciplinary measures are taken at some point(s) during the dog training period. Now, I am not trying to compare kids with dogs, no, I'm just trying to make a point. And my point is this, parents need to realize that discipline is a necessity while raising and training kids. It should not in any way be undermined, however, there is a slight twist to it though;

Every child is a unique individual and as such there is no universal disciplinary measure that works for all. Now for better understanding, what I'm trying to say is that, because you flog one or more of your children with the ‘whip' and it works, does not necessarily mean that such a disciplinary act or measure would work for all your kids. So, it is very important that the temperament of each child be taken into consideration by parents when contemplating what disciplinary measure to use. Using myself as an example, whilst growing up, I observed that most times constructive words of correction used by my parents were just enough to discipline me, they were more like my own ‘whipping'. This being because of my temperament and I must say this would definitely not work for everyone. So discipline your children so that they can become better individuals and have better personalities. And make sure you do so in love and out of love, in a bid to correct and also taking into consideration their temperaments.

#3 Rule- Show Your Kids You Love Them

Now go back and read that statement again. Note, I didn't say, tell your kids that you love them, that's easy, at least for most of us though. I said ‘show' them you love them. This means that every action you take towards your children must translate or speak love to them, remember, your children may not have the same love language you have, so get to know the love language of each child and then speak it to that child. Now I won't dwell much on this because I've already written a post on ‘The Five (5) Love Languages'. So just click on it (that is, the highlighted text) if you haven't read through it yet!

#4 Rule- Get Involved In Your Child's Life
PAUSE! I'm not asking you to go overboard with this, please, parents should not overdo this. However, this should also not be neglected. As a parent as much as you respect your children's privacy, you should also get involved in the affairs of their lives, their physical health and well being, their social life (like the friends they keep...), their spiritual lifestyle and commitment to God, and also their ACADEMICS! Leave nothing out. A lot of children are performing below average or averagely in academics and other spheres because their parents are not effectively motivating them to do better. Please if you are a parent or an intending parent, learn to strike the difference between criticism and motivation. Do not criticize your children except it is constructively done and is not in anyway destructive. Instead employ positive motivation when getting involved with them. Be actively involved in the affairs of your children's lives. Do not become too busy for them, they are your responsibility, until they become adults like you.

#5 Rule- Do Not Abuse Your Kids
There are various forms of abuse. There is physical abuse, sexual abuse, drug/health abuse, and verbal abuse. I believe with the names you can be able to identify their meanings as well as differences. No parent should whip or beat his/her child to stupor neither should sexual abuse be encouraged in any way. Another very important aspect is with respect to health, parents should endeavor to feed their children with the right kind of diets and should never administer drugs without the right prescription from a physician. The last one here is very vital and that is verbal abuse, this is where many parents do fall culprits. Words are life and are very powerful, so please speak words that will edify, encourage, help and bless your children rather than words which can kill their spirit.

#6 Rule- Pray For Your Children
This is not a responsibility solely for either parent, that is, it is not solely the man's responsibility and neither is it solely the woman's responsibility. It is a collective responsibility for both parents. This means that they are to pray for their kids independent of each other and also when they come together to pray as a couple.
When God gives to us He also demands accountability from us. Parents should therefore remain forever conscious of the fact that their children are gifts from God and would therefore be held accountable for those children before God.

#7 Rule- Do Not Fight/Argue In The Presence of Your Children
Men, husbands, fathers!! Do not raise a hand, or your voice on your wife in front of your children. As for raising a hand or beating your wife, do not even think of it whether or not your kids or anyone else is present no matter how annoying she might be! And women, wives, mothers! Do not disrespect or disregard your husband in the presence of your kids, whether your husband is present or not. If you fail to adhere to this rule, you give your children a very wrong impression about the man-woman relationship and marriage and they'll eventually go overboard with their wrong impressions.

#8 Rule- Parents Must Protect Their Children
By providing adequate security, parents do offer to their kids a good sense of security. Nevertheless, it goes beyond this! Some might say the world has gone crazy! And yes, to a certain extent I agree, there is so much lawlessness and evil here and there which is fast becoming more and more acceptable with each passing day. CAUTION is what I'd say to all the parents out there, please I implore you all to take caution and protect your children from the evil that has crept in deep, from the lawlessness that is fast becoming the order of the day. It is not so hard, but it begins with you as a parent clearly differentiating between good and bad, right or wrong. And then ensuring that your children although being educated about the ongoing vices are kept safe from harm. Let me give a practical illustration; there's just no logical reason why 5 to 12 year old kids and beyond should be permitted to watch adult rated movies. We have become so permissive that our little ones are now freely surfing the internet without supervision, when we all know the dangers that could follow! This is a very important element of parenting, parents should ensure that their kids are protected physically, socially, mentally, and emotionally.

#9 Rule- Teach Your Children Simple Good Habits
Simple good habits like saying greetings politely and respectfully to elders, saying thank you, saying sorry, keeping quiet when other older persons are speaking, clearing and washing dirty dishes after eating, making the bed and so many others should be taught to children by their parents. These things can be taught them in their schools, yes, but it is first the responsibility of the parent.

#10- Teach Your Children How To Be Good Parents
To crown it all parents need to teach their children how to be good parents as well. Why? Well, simply because the whole cycle continues. And don't just teach them how to be good parents but also teach them how to be good husbands and good wives as the case may be. And remember, to do this effectively, you must live out the other rules efficiently and well because actions do speak louder than words and your kids will do what they have seen you doing over the years!!

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Alright that's pretty much what I have for you today!
You can leave your comments below, and if you liked this post please comment in the comment box below and you can also add any rule you think I skipped so others can learn as well. And if you have a personal question then do send me a message on Facebook on my page (ElmaDavid Blog). Follow me on Instagram @elmadavid_ig for daily motivational and inspirational posts. Thanks!

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